Image: The last time I held my Father's Hand
I think a lot about how we approach death and grief in our society. Do you?
It wasn’t that long ago that home funerals were the norm here in the US. Family and friends would gather together in parlor rooms to wash, dress, and tend to the body of a loved one, while others built the casket and dug the grave. People would join to sit in reverence, both with those who had passed and those who were now walking in grief.
Mourning wasn’t taboo, it was expected.
Home funerals were common until as recently as 70 years ago. That isn’t that long, but certainly long enough to realize that passing the care of our loved ones off to strangers has severed social support systems that had existed throughout all of human existence.
Since the rapid-fire passing of my Mother, Father, & Father-in-law in 2017, I've developed a deep interest in the dying and funeral process. Recently, I’ve been learning invaluable information about community deathcare and how we can bring the care of our dead back into the hands of our families from the National Home Funeral Alliance (NHFA) and they’ve just released an INCREDIBLE guidebook..
We are all deathtenders. There is no special skill required to care for the people we love.
However, much of the general knowledge about home funerals and what they can be (hint - whatever you want) has been lost with the tradition over the years. The Home Funeral Guidebook is the most comprehensive resource on this subject I’ve found and I’m so grateful for NHFA’s efforts in putting it together.
If you’re interested in planning your own home funeral or simply learning about the process I’d encourage you to download the guidebook here:
If you have questions about community death care or home funerals, but you don’t have the bandwidth to read and research, please feel free to reach out to me at any time. I’m learning more each day from my peers who serve as deathcare workers and community wisdom keepers, and I feel called to serve my community in turn.
Summer Goon
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